R E A L .
R E A L // It's Christmas Eve-Eve-Eve and I'm supposed to be chipper and cheery and all "merry hallelujah"-y, but can we just get really vulnerable together? It's been a really tough year. It's been a year of spiritual growth for me that is unrivaled by any of my other 28 years of life, but it's also been a year of rejection and displacement and in all reality it has hurt my heart so much. But you know what else? Had I never had to go through this year I never would've ever known just how much my people love me, how much they show up for me, how much they celebrate me when there's nothing I've done to celebrate ... they have just shown up to celebrate me being alive, and I surely would've never known the truth that Jesus IS Jehovah-Jireh ... Almighty God that Provides. While all those have blessed my heart so much and shown me the truth of the gospel while I was face down in the muck and mire, shame has chained itself to me like an unwanted house guest that has FAR OUTSTAYED HIS WELCOME. And there I was, walking around with him chained to my foot because it was easier to carry him around than to face the actual pain of the circumstance. Tonight, I finally hit a breaking point. I sat down and cried out for truth and Love came bursting forth with the only set of keys that are able to separate me from that pesky little runt called Shame, and hand in hand ... Love and I sent him packing. Love reminded me that His affirmations are just the opposite of Shame's accusations. Love has once again set my heart free and called me Brave even though I had to ask for help. Because isn't it true, friends, that asking for help from The Helper only means you're ready to face the music? Well, tonight Love told me that facing the music is the most Brave thing a soul can do ... and He promised to meet me there when that time comes again, because although Shame has been sent on his pitiful little way ... he will continue to look for vacancies in our temple and assure us that it makes sense to entertain his tenancy. Aren't you glad that Love pays eternal attention to our hearts? Me too, love. Me too.